The Warrior Speaks
The past few months of my life have been...well...interesting? I have experienced immeasurable, intense pain and pleasure. Living life armed with a double-edged sword has served me graciously well at times - other times I have endured the mauling of self-inflicted wounds. My chosen 'sword' way of life is what the warrior in me has always wanted. My brightest, most glorious experiences as well as some of my darkest days were the result of equipping myself with a weapon and slashing against the grain. I tell you this in a positive way as everything I have chosen to experience is part of my creative process and journey.
When one's soul feels trapped in any way (whether it be a relationship or job situation), the soul will inevitably find a way out or rebel. It is only natural. You can make the decision to leave a less than desirable situation on your own or you can let it eat you alive. The latter is what I see happen more often than is necessary. You get to decide though how it pans out. The difference with me is I usually find a way out - even if I have nothing 'to fall back on.
I went from writing diligently every day and making time to be alone with my imagination to --> filling up my schedule with so many activities I didn't know which way was up anymore.
I was scared to face my own power.
I became an adrenaline junkie for a while and would go-go-go until I literally passed out from exhaustion. I fell down so many times. I was forced to surrender my life and creative calling to God, our Creator. This may happen over and over in one's life because our human selves cannot handle everything.
One of the most inspiring books I've ever read, If You Want to Write, speaks of the importance of art, independence and spirit for a creative life. Author Brenda Ueland knows what she's talking about
"Inspiration comes very slowly and quietly...our idea that we must always be energetic and active is all wrong...your soul gets dry because you are so efficient about doing one thing after another that you have not time for your own ideas to come in and develop and gently shine" (Ueland, 1938, p.25). Absolutely...
What is it that I do want?
Trying different things provided extreme contrasts. This allowed me to choose what I like and say 'No thanks' to what I didn't like. I can now compare working full-time at an office job to full-time in retail - as well as freelancing and smaller stints. Oh, and don't be fooled by scammers who try to fool people in their twenties looking for health and fitness careers. I almost was. Nice try. All of these experiences have served their purpose. I'm ready to move onto something greater.
I went a little crazy. But I think you have to go crazy in life. Life is crazy. I made some impractical decisions and do not regret any of them. I learned from them. Variety is the spice of life. You never know unless you try.
Never a dull moment in my life.
Obviously consistency is desirable regarding many situations, but remember this blog is about creativity - so don't even try to argue with me on this one. When it comes to creativity, move Mr. Consistent and Ms. Routine to the side and let them know you're gonna try something different today. A trial separation may be just what the doctor (Kelly) ordered.
They do mean well at times and I have learned routine in life is definitely healthy - in moderate doses. I have become better friends with Ms. Routine but I can tell you that we will always be better off awkward acquaintances than best buddies. Same goes for Mr. Consistent. They throw the lamest parties but always lend a helping hand when it comes to organizing and scheduling. Our personalities refuse to mesh cordially and that's fine.
Trying to make order out of complete chaos has been a challenge, yet was necessary for me to start living a more balanced life.
The past few months have also taught me a lot about relationships and children. I give thanks to the exuberant girls at Edmonson Elementary School I had the opportunity to help coach. Their excitement for life re-ignited my creative spark and gives me hope for a very bright future. They reminded me what it's like to live in the present moment.
Children live spiritually and with imagination. I remember those days.
As adults, we can still live that way.
We just have to understand the importance of creative power in order to live a more enriched life.
You have creative power. Harness that energy and go with it!
Now that my job with Davis-Kidd Booksellers has come to an end, wouldn't you like to know what I am going to do next?
